Be Anyone
by MonsterBrat
Summary: Ryou spends a quiet moment learning to read the cards from Bakura, and realizes he knows who they’re describing. A quiet R&B piece in a sunny kitchen.


Summary: Ryou spends a quiet moment learning to read the cards from Bakura, and realizes he doesn't know who they're describing.

Warnings: none really, maybe just too much Duel Moster cards references and funky symbolism…

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but only because my army of lawyers have used up my vast fortune during paid-for coffee breaks that they worked into their contracts. I wish.

Italics- Ryou talking to his other self

(BTW: the original Japanese YGO anime doesn't actually use the word "yami". They say "mou hitori no boku", which means "my other self". I've shortened that to "the other" or "my other" just because it's a mouthful to write or think, especially in Japanese.)

Be Anyone 

He sits very quietly, watching in his soul room as the Other slices their deck expertly and lays the cards in a simple upside-down pyramid on the floor. Ryou is learning the significance of every move as it's made, and it feels as if it's his own hands casting the cards.

_They are_. The other chuckles, too distracted to create an avatar in his mind. It sounds as if the darkness Ryou's soul room is made up of is replying to his thoughts. And maybe it is. He watches long, graceful fingers flipping cards over and understands without knowing why the order and the why and how of it. The knowledge isn't his, though of course he'd know how to do it.

_We've always known how to read the cards_ he thinks. It's impossible that Ryou Bakura wouldn't know such a basic skill. So simple, even without the power of the Sennen Ring. (And somewhere in his mind, Ryou is wondering exactly where and how he learned, and isn't he learning _now_? And since when has he known how to manipulate the Ring without the backlash of power?) There's another chuckle in his mind and he feels like laughing, too, at all this confusion. Ryou ignores it and lays a card face up.

_Since when do we have a Shining Friendship?_ The question echoes around a bit, like all thoughts do. Ryou doesn't remember for a moment, then realizes that it was in the first pack of cards he ever got. They'd discarded it during the makings of the deck.__

_We put them all back in for the casting. To make it accurate_. He remembers. Neither of them know how many cards they have exactly, outside their chosen deck. Sometimes 'tou-san gave them packs as presents and sometimes Ryou traded at school just for fun. Now neither of them really know what comes out of the deck when it's full.

_Well, I think you have a friend who likes you. Or I do._ Ryou looks at the cards carefully, and there it is, Shining Friendship with the ambitious Angelic Gift. He frowns, but more at the words than the apparent fortune casting.

_How can we, when everyone sees you when they look at me and me when they see you?_

It's something he thinks of often, these days, when Yugi-tachi is so afraid of him and yet trust his other too much. How can anyone one love or know one of them and not the other?

_We are not the same, Yadonushi!_  His other is angry, as is Ryou. His other only calls him that when he's upset at their (lacking, but still) similarities. They don't like to be considered the same, but sometimes it's hard to make others understand.

_But we speak as We, not I and You._ Sometimes he doesn't notice it, but once Ryou said that to Malik, referred to himself and the other as one, and now it's stuck in his mind. He tries not to and still, in his thoughts, his other and he are We. 

_We share a body. We do the same things. We're not the same!_ Declining the veiled invitation to violence, Ryou reaches out and flips another card with the same pale, graceful hands as his other. It's the Dark Hole, and he thinks that it must mean the love affair will end badly. 

_Maybe we are just destined to disappear_. His other whispers and Ryou shudders, relinquishing control. They switch so easily he barely notices, in fact, it's almost as is he's still the one holding the card up to the light spilling from the window.

_You'll disappear, you mean. Since we're so different._ Ryou regrets it as he says it, the spiteful, disgusting things they do to each other. It is an old ritual to toss insults back and forth, as if it really matters. Sometimes it feels as if he's only insulting himself.

_We disappear. What do you think will happen to you without me?_ Ryou doesn't think when he answers _nothing_ and flips the next card, disregarding it. The Dark Elf stares at him with hungry eyes and an empty soul, and he feels claustrophobic in his endless dark soul room. His other is still in charge, but the body shudders anyway. 

_You won't last an hour here alone! Look how disgusted our cards are…_They both frown at the revelations, one physically and the other mentally. Ryou stays sullenly silent as his other sweeps the rest of the cards away un-opened and lays out a new design, but reaches out to correct himself when he begins the casting for their cause of death.

_It's enough, today. It doesn't matter_. He lays out the straight line for love, two cards above and below it.

_It's probably Malik._ His other mutters, revealing the first card as soon as they are laid out. The Spellbinding Circle stares back at them, and Ryou notices it's upside down. 

_We're trapped? By Malik?_ Ryou doesn't see this as referring to himself, the card, when he looks at it, doesn't make him feel the costmary fear. The Ring usually emphasizes these intuitions but there haven't been many in the past few years. Probably it's only that the card is for his other. 

He flips the second card for another clue. Wasteland, the empty graveyard looks a little too realistic even in the bright sunshine. Ryou frowns at it. It seems there's no escaping bad fortune even in love.

_We hold a dangerous deck, and it's telling us this. Are you scared, Yadonushi?_ His other smiles darkly, but Ryou feels no fear. Their deck was picked by his other, as Ryou himself never dueled professionally, but he likes it. The monsters are properly fierce, and there are enough other cards to help them along the way. 

_It's my deck, too_ he says, realizing the truth as it's spoken. The shadows echo this and they continue, coming up with Lady of Faith, some worthless card he doesn't remember getting. _We'll have to trust the gods on this one. It must be someone… maybe it is Malik_. He concedes.

They flip the next card together, reaching for control simultaneously and blending it smoothly. His other could have taken over, but a casting for love proves difficult without cooperation. 

_We can do more together_ whispers the other Bakura, and Ryou nods. That's the only thing keeping them together, he used to think. They need to do it together. _I'll need you to rule the world_. His other murmurs. He makes power seem seductive, but neither is impressed.

The next card is the usual Shining Friendship, then a Black Hole the makes Ryou stop and pull away. His other finishes the casting on his own, revealing nothing certain. 

_It can't be Malik_, he tells Ryou, shuffling the Black Hole with the rest. He doesn't like the idea of Malik lusting after them, either, but he says nothing. His other has an unhealthy infatuation with power and Malik is a prime candidate for it. Ryou is very well aware that he's standing between them, and the position isn't comfortable. This new sign of disappearance seems to beacon to him. Maybe if he's gone those two can just…He puts the card back angrily and frowns when his other chuckles.

_And now we both know it is_. Ryou presses the issue just enough to earn a bit of mental separation that hurts because he's not used to it. Being alone is painful when his head is always filled with these mirrors…

_I'm not your mirror, Yadonushi. We are…not parallel people._ There is anger, but no one to hurt. Instead, his other produces the casting for battle and turns out the same cards they've gotten in this past year. There are things to come. They must try hard to win, and a hidden opponent. Ryou frowns at this thoughtfully and recasts with the same results. They cannot divine anything together, any more than either can alone.

_We have the same enemies. You make us the same enemies_. He says, looking over the cards carefully for something misread. But of course, everything's perfect.

_I protect us from everyone. I protect you_ it's a sentiment that his other likes to express, how much stronger than Ryou he is. They both know, of course, that Ryou protects the Ring from everything. _We protect us. Ourselves. _He says it, but there is no precise pronoun for two people who are one. Ryou can't even describe it. He smiles sadly and lays out the overall casting, flipping a few cards at the same time.

_We will need protection. See the danger signs. And another Black Hole._ A Black Hole for whom? Ryou wonders. Last time it was for his other. Now, he thinks, it must be his. The laws of symmetry apply here as anywhere else. 

_We have no symmetry. Look, The Shining Friendship, again!_ The card is torn out of his hand, or rather, his other takes control and flings it away angrily. The Black Hole follows. Ryou rises and goes to collect them, angrily, and spreads the circle for a death casting in strokes that nearly ruin the design.

_You think we are so alike, but where was your cooperation when I used you to get the Puzzle?! _His other is angry, but his words are true. Ryou considers it as he flips the nearest card over. Their birth is known well enough, but it's tradition.

_I was where you were_. I didn't do what you did. He adds, privately, but his other still catches it. He frowns and picks a random card, revealing the Monster Reborn, then takes it out of the circle and holds it up. _That's where I come in_ he chuckles.

_Then why did we fail?_ He asks, and Ryou is still thinking it over when he picks the next card. Monster Reborn drifts to the ground inside the circle and in Ryou's hand, his other's hand, is a Bait Doll. He smiles at it, trying not to show his anger.

_I don't have any answers. Maybe because I was your slave._ He puts the Bait Doll back and lets his other pick the next. Watching as a stranger through his own eyes, Ryou looks at the glint of the sunlight on the laminated card. 

_A slave?! I'm a slave to this pathetic body! To you!_ Ryou looks down at the "Marie the Fallen One" card, examining the gruesome picture. Her dress is beautiful, he sees, but what's underneath is really what counts. He feels, again, no pang of recognition. This card is not for him. Neither is the Shining Friendship, he thinks. Maybe this is what that Black Hole meant. Ryou is disappearing from their castings and he hasn't even noticed, until now. 

"It's like…they're telling someone else's story…I can't recognize myself here like I used to. It makes no sense. Like Malik, it isn't about me, it's about…some person. About you." he says to no one in particular. His other tells him that the cards can't lie, it's their deck, it only knows about them. Ryou looks down on it and smiles sadly as he draws the card beside the one he drew first, closing the circle.

_Of course it's you. Marie the Fallen, us, those who left the light and steal it back from others_. His other doesn't mention Malik and Ryou knows why, but he doesn't say anything.

"You know…Yugi-tachi call you Bakura now that they've started calling me Ryou." He says, and it doesn't feel strange for once, talking to thin air. His other's presence is almost palpable.

_What does that have to do with anything?_ The other scatters the cards for good luck, then collects them and begins separating out their deck.

"…I don't think the cards are talking about me at all anymore." Ryou finishes, sadly. Maybe they never spoke of him at all. That's why he feels nothing when he reads about Malik. Marie the Fallen means nothing to him.

_Who else would they speak of? We are their masters_. He watches pale, long fingers take out one card after another, gracefully. 

"You. They're talking to you. It's because you can't be me, that's why we won't win. You can't be me and I can't act like you. You were right, _Bakura_. There is no symmetry now." He smiles, and takes over, sorting the remaining cards and putting his deck in his pocket before walking towards his room upstairs to put the rest away. While his other is thinking, Ryou goes to glance in the mirror, just to see if the reflection's changed as much as the stuff underneath. It hasn't of course, but then maybe he'd always been like this.

_Like what, a shadow of me? Is that what you think, Yadonushi? _Ryou puts the cards in his desk, watching them spill carelessly inside. He thinks that it's stupid, thinking about pieces of paper so much. Aren't they only people after all? What does fate matter to them? 

_Not a shadow of you. Don't you know, you make no light? But I can be you_. He smiles and there's a smirk beneath that could come out anytime. Ryou forces it into the light and thinks he can feel his face transform.

_Be me. You can't, Yadonushi. Don't you know what I am?_ There's a chuckle, and they're not sure who it's coming from. Ryou shakes his head and heads back downstairs for lunch.

_I know that if I'm not you, I might as well be anyone. _It's in the cards, he thinks, and as usual his other knows. They share the task of making a sandwich because the body's hungry and it's mutual territory.

_We are both ourselves. You make things too complicated_. Ryou finishes the sandwich and his other eats it, chewing loudly. When Ryou takes over again, however, he doesn't stop the action. Ryou thinks over the cards again, the way Yugi-tachi look at him, as if he's a monster. _There are no Ryou and Bakura_, he thinks. 

_But you said it yourself; there is only one of us. And I know it's not me. _He finishes and sits down at the table, looking at the grains in the table and feeling sunlight from the kitchen window on his face._ I'll be you or disappear._

His other, for once, is silent, and the kitchen goes quiet except for Ryou's tears hitting the wood. 

END

A/N: Yeah…weirdo omen-seeing Ryou. Actually, this is a topic I've been thinking about a lot when it comes to those two: They're two people in one body, and that works fine, but in the series no one seems to get that one isn't the other or to be able to tell the difference. And Bakura is obviously the dominant one…how long can Ryou actually go without becoming the person he's acting like? And if he can't act, they'll both be hurt because Bakura can't be Ryou and behave himself. It's like that expression: "something's gonna give." This is a very quiet interpretation of that moment. 

And…the card references are all real; I'm not making up any new cards, though I have no idea what they might mean. It's also not very unbelievable that Ryou would have a Shinning Friendship or any of those Anzu cards, because duelists have to buy packs like everyone and god knows they probably end up with tons of discards that suck or whatever. Kaiba has his own giant suitcase that poor Moku-chan lugs around, for example. @_@;;. 


End file.
